I Really Shouldn’t Tell You This, But . .

There are many over used phrases that insure the audience (whether one or a hundred), will stop listening before the speaker gets started. I know, for I’ve been on both ends. A glazed look comes. over every face and before long they pardon themselves as they suddenly re-member they have a pressing appointment elsewhere.

One of those phrases is, “W hen I was your age . . .” and no one will listen. Those younger than you will rightly suspect you are seeing it all through rose colored glasses, And those y our own age, won’t listen for they’ll be waiting for a chance to break in and tell their own story. Which, you can bet your life, they’ll make far better than yours.

Any conversation that begins, “There are two sides to every question . . .” is generally trying to make the weaker side look as good as the stronger. And you know that least one person will always take the ‘other’ side just for the sake of an argument. And probably to-morrow he/she will be telling the praises of the other side.

Any statement which begins: “Now, if I were running things, I’d . . .” is scarcely worth hearing. For when or if they ever do have charge it isn’t long before they begin to look, talk, and act exactly like those w ho have been in charge before. And if you don’t believe me, just think of how different candidates for the Presidency sound compared to when they become President.

As, President Trump of today, and Candidate Trump of six months ago. Yeah.

Any conversation which begins: ” Well, you only live once. . .” is bound to be a defense of the sensual life with its no rules of drugs, alcohol, sex, and other facets of high living”. Actually that phrase is a concealed apology for doing as we want to do and to heck with any criticism.

And the phrase which begins: “I have an unbelievable offer (plan or investment, etc.). . . ” will turn out to be unbelievable and when you once actually see it in ‘black and white’, and read the fine print” you can’t help but wonder why you took time to even listen. It’s said that if it sounds too good to be true. . . it is. And just hope you didn’t lose any money with that ‘unbelievable’ plan.

Any story that begins; “I’ll never forget the day . . .” usually introduces an anecdote about a day that would be better off forgotten, and one you have heard several times before.

And when your boss begins: “I’ve been keeping my eye on you . . .” just know that it might be a raise in title or such as a higher title, but be surprised if it means a raise in pay.

Any conversation that begins with: “I want to tell you something as a friend . . . will contain a piece of unsolicited, unnecessary and usually offensive bit of advice that will probably show more enmity that friendship. Take heed . . . that person usually isn’t your friend.

And when someone begins a sentence with: ” I don’t want to brag about my grandchildren, but . . .”   know that the person is a downright liar. I tell you, I enjoy bragging about my grandchildren, keep a mile long string of photos in my purse and I get them out , too, whenever I can trap some poor soul into listening and looking. But this is one time when you gotta be quick or they’ll interrupt and brag about their grandchildren before   you really get started.

Any statement that begins: “That’s funny. I know someone with the very same symptoms, and the doctor told her. . .” shows you have fallen into deep pit of conversation with one who is known as “The Health Bore”. He or she has read up on all kinds of odd, off beat diseases and can keep going for the next hour. And what’s doubly boring, is that they’re often right, too.

Any statement that begins: “If you ask me, the way to put an end to all this turmoil is . . .” means you’ve found someone who probably can’t even get along with his boss and co-workers. his children, neighbors, or in-laws, but . . . on the world level . . . boy, oh, boy is that one ever good. And for reinforcement, just refer to my fourth paragraph.

Any conversation which begins, in sotto voce “I shouldn’t tell this, but , , ,” means you’d better run.   Run as fast as you can. Anything that begins in that ‘confidential’ way won’t be for your own good, so don’t even listen.   You’ll only end up with a guilt trip . . . and resentment to the one who, ‘for your own good’, dropped the load upon you.

There are probably dozens more of these old cliches, and I’ve probably used the all, and so have you. but they are what I said, ‘cliches’ and should be dropped into the bucket that hold all those old out dated words. but before you do that . . . send your favorites along to me or post them here.

One thought on “I Really Shouldn’t Tell You This, But . .

  1. My dad yusta say…. The first time I heard that…. We don’t have the snow we used to….
    Arguments,of a political nature always gave rise regular platitudes and extolling of this senator or that representative. He was a strong union man.
    An off colored word always got an interruption. Usually something sbout using that kind of language at this house.
    Fun blog!

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