Born To Be Slim

Slender people are different than the rest of us.

For years I carried a load of guilt caused by that perpetual cycle of ‘lose-4 pounds, gain-5-pounds’, but then I found a list of 25 reasons that explained in detail, the ‘why’ of why thin people are thin. It’s tucked into their genes before they were even born, and here’s what they have, and we don’t.  Read and wonder no longer.

1. They think the dish on their desk is for paper clips, and not for candy.
2. They won’t eat popcorn in movies because it makes their hands greasy.
3. They think banana splits, sundaes and Ice Cream are, like all Gerber products, for children, and, for heaven’s sake. not adults.
4. They throw out small portions of left-overs instead of putting them in the refrig to nibble on later in the day.

5. They take it for granted that one normal pizza is for four people.
6. They think cookies are for people under 13 years of age.
7. They eat nuts one-at-a-time.
8, They think do-nuts are indigestible.

9, They get so absorbed in some special project that they forget to eat.
10, They hold their book or magazine with both hands.
11. They allow no food in the family room, living room, bedroom or any room where there is a TV.

12. They take a nap when they feel an energy drop instead of eating.
13. They trade-in or pass along, all gifts of any kind of cooking pans , and get clocks, radios, or books.
14. They (and this difference proved it all to me) they lose their appetites when they are depressed or have nothing to do.

15. When the party is over, and the guests go home, they throw out any left-over potato chips, corn chips, along with any leftover Dips.
16. They don’t celebrate getting a salary raise, or any  big event, by dining out at some great cafe, but head straight for a Health Food Bar and order a huge Green Salad, Tofu croutons and a V8 drink.
17. They think it’s utterly silly and not worth the time, to go to a special store to get a special kind of chocolate, or fancy bakery to buy a  special cake.

18. They use Carob in cooking instead of Chocolate.
19. They find Ice Tea more refreshing than an Ice Cream Soda.
20. They have such interesting conversations with people at cocktail parties that they never get around to visiting the Buffet Tables.
21.They do not feel compelled to ‘even up’ the candy dish by eating the ‘extra’ pieces to achieve a perfect balance.

22, They never once think they ‘may as well’ eat that leftover piece of pie, cake, or whatever, rather than tossing it out.
23. They prefer reading any book or magazine rather that the latest copy of “The Joy of Cooking”.
24, They don’t tuck a handy sack of nuts/mints/ or cookies in a pocket, when they go walking.
25. They give away or toss out all gifts of candy, cake, or cookies.

See? It’s just as I said, it’s right in their genes. For nobody could train themselves to such odd habits.  Born way, way, way , way, way different. But just think what they’re missing. I mean besides the extra pounds you and I gather ’round us and they, dang it, don’t.   Oh, me.

ethelbrad@comcast.net

 

2 thoughts on “Born To Be Slim

  1. Oh, so very true. Saw myself in all 25 items. Chips are my worse enemy and next comes ice cream.

  2. Absolutely the most arcane kind of person in the world! I’m baffled at the idea that no one could think leftovers don’t come with the obligation to consume them. I worry about the ‘starving people in China’. Moreover, it has been my experience that those that count calories or have other similar observations about food have no sense of humor, and therefore have nothing to jiggle when they laugh.

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